[teens stories] THE LIFE OF AN UGLY GIRL

(t/n: the post is a series of screenshot, we will only translate the content) 

"I'm seriously not joking, I'm a really ugly woman, can you listen to my story?"

I did both my eyes and my nose, my nose job isn't obvious at all (my nose was originally short and small). I did double eyelids surgery, but the only difference I'm seeing is an extra line. 

My face is quite small, but my face shape is totally ruined. My cheekbones have developed so horribly, and my forehead is seriously hollow too. My chin is not angular, but only my chin tip has developed so it just comes out as a tip. 

My height is in the lower 150's and my weight is average. My body proportions are all off and my legs are so short and thick. 

I've lived with this kind of outer appearance for 26 years, and come to think of it, I actually had it better during my middle school-high school years. 

I went to an all-female school. 

I studied super hard, and I think I just lived my life, and got easily along with the other kids who were there. 

I didn't really hang out with the pretty kids, I was closer with the more quiet kids, and we still keep in touch once in a while now. 

Throughout my high school years, my sunbaes have told me stuff like "you got prettier" "you must have a boyfriend". My parents told me that as long as I pass the university entrance exams, they would pay me surgery. When I heard this, I really studied like my life depended on it, I ended up succeeding in entering the department that I wanted in the best university. 

However, there was that one person who stood out. (t/n: OP is talking about someone from her high school) 

She looked very innocent, she was a pretty kid. She was doing the same extracurricular activities as me, so we would cross each other a lot. 

Her personality was nice, she was pretty, she had better grades than me, she also comes from a wealthy family. Honestly, I was jealous of her. 

She got in the same university as me, yet she entered university with a higher entrance exam score. 

Our departments were different, but roughly similar so we almost ended up sharing one building for our classes. She came to congratulate me with a smile, but at that night, I seriously bawled my eyes out. 

It was around the time we started attending university, and I could just see the gap between her visuals and mine widening. She was considered the goddess of her department, all of the sunbaes from the university extracurricular activities gave her their undivided attention and she would treat people fairly and hung out with everyone. 

For me, no matter how hard I tried to become close to people, and how much I tried to connect with people around me, nobody even gave me a chance. 

Still, I was thinking "It's okay, if I try approaching them a bit more, if I tried to greet them more cheerfully, I should succeed".

But later, I overheard a conversation saying "Wow despite this person having surgery, even though it's so obvious, she's still uglyㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ If I looked like that, I'd k*ll myself"
"Yah what would you do if someone like that liked you?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ"
"Are you crazy? Seriouslyㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

I was feeling so blank on that day that I couldn't think of anything for the rest of the day.

From that moment onward, I became even more adamant in studying, and I thought to myself there was nothing I could do in this life aside from studying hard. 

No matter how hard I studied, the reality was that someone else always ended up getting ahead of the opportunity before me, I always felt so lonely and sorrowful. 

But what can I do? I started hating going to school. I could only think about my parents who were only expecting the best from me and forced myself to school. 

I started to wonder if I graduated with awesome specs, maybe I'd be able to enter the workforce successfully. 

But you know what? Your appearance is a spec too. 

Even after shoving my job applications to dozens of places, they wouldn't take me no matter how hard I tried. I failed all my interviews. What can I do? 

In the end, 1 year and half has passed and I've been only doing part time jobs here and there and went back to live in goshiwons village since public servants don't look at your faces 
(t/n: Goshiwon villages = basically small neighborhoods near big cities with mostly study dorms
OP is saying she's preparing her civil servant exams so she went back to study dorms life)

But some time ago, I grew curious as I was going down the memory lane and went through my Facebook. 

I ended up looking at that person's Facebook 

She's doing her master degree in Europe and she's also travelling around the world, she also found a boyfriend with good competencies, tall and handsome. She has a bunch of friends and she's smiling brightly. 

At that moment, I just looked at myself and found myself so pitiful. 

All of the friends I had left me, I'm doing part-time job and trying to save whatever money I have to stay in the goshiwon I live in which is barely a few pyeong large while preparing for an exam. 

My childhood died because I was overly focused on what my parents expected from me, I was never able to go on trips, experience romance and live a normal cultural lifestyle even once. 

Why is she able to get all that?

I know what I'm saying might be goosebumps inducing, but I clicked on all of my friends' Facebooks and went through their pages. Most of them are living in good households, and they're all going on trips and got closer to each other. 

They're all pretty and good-looking, they're partying together from time to time. 

I seriously started to wonder why am I even alive. 

I seriously did my best to work as hard as I can in my life, just to not even be able to date someone even once in my entire life. I'm barely managing to get by with my part time jobs meanwhile even with surgery, I'm still just as ugly and getting frowned upon by other people. 

Just why am I alive? 

If I work hard enough and pass my public servant exam, will my life be at least a bit different?

I'm just so scared right now, just how long do I have to endure this excruciating life? 

Even after passing my exam, I will never be able to have half the fun that girl is experiencing in her life and I know that. 

I'm so depressed. 

post response:
[+896][-67]
original post: here

1. [+695, -22]
I really hope the OP of this post has found happiness at the end of thisㅜㅜ

2. [+611, -48]
If a woman is ugly, men's attack will be felt a multitude times harder

3. [+535, -24]
Seriously if you're good-looking, you'll be able to succeed in everything just thanks to the confidence you'll get from it alone 

4. [+235, -16]
I seriously can't really relate to this. I do have my own thoughts about this, but looking at the best replies here, people are just attacking women's appearance harshly and talking about how ugly girls have it worse than ugly guys in the comments, etc... Writing comments like this is no different than saying "Ugly girls are pitiful, they will never be able to succeed".. Even the OP writing the post is talking about how she finds herself ugly and even if she succeeded the test, she won't be able to live the life of the other pretty girl. I personally don't think it's because of her face alone, rather it's because of her thought process and her own feelings that she's ultimately not gonna be able to live the same life as the other girl.. To put things bluntly, if you look at people leading a successful life, you can see that it's not only the pretty and handsome people who get to live them. And I bet the people who attended OP's university and ended up living a successful life didn't find success through looking pretty and handsome only... If I were OP, and despite not coming from a rich household yet I was still able to make it to the same university as a pretty kid from a rich family? This alone would've given me a confidence boost. It's a shame that OP wasn't able to get this mindset instead

5. [+245, -3]
People don't drop you from the interview based on your visuals, they also look at your personality. Does OP think that people get turned down because they look ugly and thus have no confidence? If people walked into my interviews with this kind of mindset, I wouldn't pick them either. I do feel bad for OP, but life isn't only about looks. This is the only precious life you'll get to live, nothing will change in your life if you spend it comparing with others. And this wouldn't help you at all. You need to find what matters to you and you need to hold real values. Think again, and I hope you will live a more meaningful life



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