[PC stories/KPOP takes] HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THIS?

I'm an older k-pop fan, I've been following the genre since the mid 2000s. There have definitely been times over the years when I've gotten more or less interested, when kpop has felt especially dull or tiresome, but I've never been able to entirely quit the side hobby. Sites like this where you get informed and can discuss the latest kpop news help maintain that interest, because everyone loves drama and mess when it's happening to someone else, no?

It keeps my fans spirit alive to see those kinds of updates, both the good and the bad. Denouncing people who have committed crimes and supporting people who are suffering unfairly, even if your words don't have any impact on either, feels really cathartic in these hectic times. Rather than being emotionally draining, kpop drama feels exciting and makes you want to tune in for more and more.

Lately however, I've been interacting more with the users on this site and their comments, and rather than my initial impression- that pannchoa was full of old hags like me who have no or little emotional investment in most groups- I've come to realize that just like it was for me all those years ago, there are people out there on this website for which it really is that serious. I've met people who crashed out over Red scare Karina, who die a little more each day when someone calls Sakura a bad vocalist, people for whom the number of members you believe are in groups like Riize and BTS can brew an entire battle. I feel like I observe them the way David Attenborough observes animals in the wild, revelling in seeing the pure emotional instinct on display. I will even go out of my way to incite it on sometimes, just to see how riled up they can get themselves. I don't know why I feel like just because I have divorced myself from k-pop enough to not be emotionally invested in any individuals, I'm any different from them. I was that same way for a long time, before time and age made me realize how meaningless it all is in the grand scheme of things whether or not you get upset on behalf of people who don't even know you exist. Do you all ever feel this way? Do you look at the people who are still entrenched in fanwars of their own making and feel pity? Empathy? Jealousy? Sometimes I'd like to go back to the times when I felt that way, not because living my life more entrenched in defending the honor of other people is fulfilling in any way, but because the joy of the collective, feeling like you're a part of something, and as a member of the tribe you have a duty to defend it's leaders and destroy it's enemies. Mostly however, I'm just reminded of how much I'm too old for this shit.

Then I go off and balance my budget, buy groceries, clean the house. But there's still a part of me that will always wistfully revel in the way people get so attached and defend kpop, the way they don't seem to do on the same level for almost anything else. Godspeed you silly little guys, I hope you beat down that other kpop fan with a different opinion about something neither of you will care about in a month. I'm not like you any more, but seeing it still going on after all these years reminds me of my youth and my age all at once.

In conclusion, I better see a lot of discussion in the comments for this topic because if it turns out that my introspective on aging out of the tribalism of kpop that I poured my soul into gets considered one of the more boring pc stories I will crash out.

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