I’ve been dating this great guy for more than three years. Things have been going really well. He’s meeting my parents soon and we’re even thinking of moving in together. The thing is, my parents are extremely conservative and religious, and moving in together before marriage is a big NO.
I feel like I do want to move in with him. I really do like him and care about him a lot. I think I love him too, but this whole thing just scares me a lot. If I stand up to my parents to move in with him, I risk losing my family and being “renounced” forever, for something I’m not even 100% sure will work out. What if we move in together and we realize we hate living together and just end up breaking up quickly afterwards? I would have ruined my relationship with my family over nothing. Which is why I’m not 100% sure I love him. I feel like I do, but I also feel like if I really did love him I wouldn’t have hesitated this much or been this scared?
I just feel guilty about feeling this way now. He’s a great guy and I know he loves me a lot, and my hesitation makes me think he deserves to find someone that wouldn’t feel this way towards this situation.
I feel like I need to make a decision now. We either move in together or we break up, but I can’t keep asking him to wait when we’re not getting any younger and we both want to get married eventually.
If anyone has gone through something similar please share some tips or your experience. This shit is keeping me up at night.
For added context, despite my family’s flaws I still have a great relationship with them and love them a lot, so losing them would hurt me deeply. Breaking up with him would hurt me deeply as well. Also, he would never want to get married before moving in with a partner first to truly see if it’s a match, and I agree with his mindset, so he’s not “forcing” me to do this.
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