[PC stories/Life] *TW self-harm* MY YOUNGER SISTER HATES ME

After my mom (43) passed away 3 months ago because of liver failure, my relationship with younger sis (17) worsen. 

So here's my family situation, I am the oldest (23F) and have two younger sisters, 17F & 11F.

My mom already divorced from her husband 2 years ago before passed away. He's the father of my 2 younger sisters. After mom passed away he hasn't give any monetary help yet. So my sisters pretty much estranged from him even tho they still have his contact. I myself never know my biological father.

Beside my grandpa's pension (I also live with him beside my sisters) I'm the one who get the dough. Here's the thing, my sister (17F) never want to do her chores. At first we split the chores like this, I did the laundry, and fold the clothes(We don't have a washer, so I wash by hands), She (17F) did the dishes, my youngest sis helped me drying the laundry and take care of our cats. We took turns cleaning the house.
At first it was fine, but later on my sisters never do the dishes again. I tried to understand cause maybe She had many homeworks or need to study. But when I saw she just playing phones watching tiktok etc,it irritates me.

I talked to her, maybe we can change her chores to just drying the laundry I already washed. She still didn't do it, she also never cleaned the house anymore just her room and closet. When confronted about it she passive aggressively bring up my low salary, and how I promised her I will try to become a mother figure in hospital when we were crying after my mom gone. How I failed at that role cause I rarely cook, unlike mom,  I'm not as organized as mom, etc. She rarely homehome afterwards.

From then on I never nag her to do chores cause whenever I did our relationship worsen. But cause my workload has doubled, now I asked my youngest sis (11F) to help me on other chores like cleaned the dishes. She often ask me why she's the only one who help. I know its unfair for her, but I truly tired do it by myself. I kinda embarrassed that my already old grandpa cleaning the house (backyard, living room) more often then we do.

I really want my relationship with sis (17F) become better, but idk how to do it, it seem like she herself doesn't want to change and she doesn't respect me. I really don't know what to do, I exhausted everyday, my sisters becoming a stranger, I don't have time to relax and hang out with my friends, I feel like a dissapointment, maybe even my mother dissapointed in me.

I want to off my self sometimes. I'm really tired.

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