I write this because I just want to let it out. I've been in this relationship for almost 6 years and we also have been staying together for 5 years.

It's my first relationship. It had ups and downs but we worked them out everytime. Now, the time has arrived for him to pop the question and bring the ring. We had a lot of pressure from our parents to do this already. Ok, so we discussed it out. I told him, do it in some beautiful place I've never been to, because I'm the romantic type, and make sure no one is around because I don't like attention. Those were my rules. 

So last night... omg, he started talking again about this moment. I went to the kitchen to eat sunflower seeds (lol). He followed me. He asked me "Do you think I didn't bought it yet?" - the ring. I said to him "No". And he went "Want to bet on it?" And I said "Yes". And he disappeared. And I thought that he gave up the conversation. 

And so, while I was at the kitchen table, sitting on a chair and eating sunflower seeds, he comes back with the ring on one knee and pops the question. I

 was so shocked that I told him yes without getting up or something and while looking away from him. I was kinda happy for one hour, but, damn, after that I started to feel so disappointed. 

I've been crying from yesterday without letting him see me. 

I'm ashamed of all of this, I'm ashamed to tell my parents how it happened. I don't want to tell him about this, because well, he seems happy that this finally happened and he was also very emotional (if that's the word) when he did it. 

So if I could turn back time I would delete the day from yesterday from my memory and my life and I would shut the fk up with the "Yes, I bet you didn't bought it yet."

PS. What's even worse is that he had some nice places prepared and he would have taken me to those places if it didn't happen last night :) I made him show me the pictures after that :)

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