I saw the story about the lady obsessed with her psychiatrist go viral and it reminds me of my own with Haechan before I was admitted for about a month and provided meds.
Please be respectful this was 2023, I was only 18 and my grandfather had just passed which caused this spiral. I don't want to disclose my illness exactly because my oomfs would figure out this is me.
After my pa passed, I was erratic and unfortunately started dabbling in weed and alcohol. He raised me so I was out of my mind drunk or inconsolable. I didn't know at the time that I wasn't all mentally there because I did have some episodes before but I just assumed it was normal derealization. I was a huge Dreamzen back then (since then healed) and hated 127 and WayV so bad. Seeing Yangyang would just send me into fury. I used to post daily highlights of him to my Insta whilst I was still grieving, Kpop really helped me because I was at peak parasocial.
After a while, he started appearing in my dreams and telling me he loved me and he couldn't hold it in anymore. When I would wake up I had no idea this was just a dream and would start sobbing uncontrollably. I thought my boyfriend was leaving me every night and would only appear at night. I started staying up all night in fears that HC would leave me again. Sometimes I would imagine him texting me that he was going to post on Insta and wanted me to choose the pictures he wanted. People were sending wreaths and flowers to my home for my pa but I genuinely believed HC was catering those to me to make up for the times he was in promotions. Leading into 2024, he had tonsillitis and my mom found me in the bathroom yelling, crying and drunk. She thought these were just drunk thoughts but no I genuinely thought HC was my man and was sobbing because I thought about how I could be there for him when he was in pain. I am telling you I wouldn't remember anything after these episodes. I would literally just go back to normal.
My mom would always find me in like the worst positions and realized I was in love with a Korean boyband member. I tried to run away several times when she tried to get me help I still feel so horrible and I even went to the Korean embassy asking for refugee status... Eventually they were able to restrain me and institutionalize me and that genuinely shook the craziness out of me. So yeah now I'm 20 and will be starting college for nursing, I'm really embarrassed about my past but at least it happened in 2023.
0 Comments