[marriage & in-laws] I DON'T UNDERSTAND MY UNNIE WHO LIKES IDOLS

Sorry for posting off-topic. I'm a married woman in my early 30s.

My unnie is in her mid-to-late 30s and unmarried.

My unnie has liked idols from her school days up until now, idols from that era and idols who are currently active. I don't really know their names or songs and I'm not interested, but because I knew how much she liked them, in my 20s I would just respond along the lines of "he's handsome" or "she's pretty," or laugh it off, thinking her hobby was consistent. But as it's continued up to now, to put it simply, her fangirling has gone on for so long that our whole family is now telling her to please stop and find another hobby.

Sometimes I think, if she likes it, that should be enough, but even when we're with family, she talks about idols, sings their songs, and even changes or skips family gatherings because of concerts or other events. Even when talking about my child plans as a married person, she'll always insert something like, "If you had a son like celebrity A, wouldn't you dote on him so much?" Celebrities are never left out of the conversation.

She constantly posts celebrity photos on her stories or sends them on KaTalk, saying things like "So-and-so did this" or "So-and-so is the real deal," and honestly, it makes me uncomfortable.

She does meet friends occasionally and has a job, so I thought it wasn't a problem, and I assumed she'd handle dating on her own. But as far as I know, the only relationship she’s ever had was for about six months in her early 30s, and nothing since. She's said so herself. I also heard that the reason for that breakup was because of a male celebrity. They argued starting from things like her phone wallpaper and KaTalk profile photo always being a celebrity, and he couldn't understand or accept it. That period seemed to be the only time her interest in celebrities decreased even a little.

When I tell her I'll introduce her to men around her instead, she just says (in a polite tone) to worry about myself.

As she's approaching her late 30s, it's not that I dislike this hobby because I think she must date or get married. I actually tell her not to get married. What worries me is that instead of talking about everyday life, she doesn’t place priority on the people next to her or the people around her, which feels like such a basic thing.

I'd like some advice on how my family and I should think about my sister's idol fangirling.

post response:

[+14][-114]

original post: here

1. [+66, -15]

This is a healthy hobby. OP is a boomer

2. [+61, -6]

There's no reason to seek anyone's approval, and it seems like she's just doing what she loves while getting things done. What does age matter? Even elderly folks relieve stress by following trot singers around. Let's just live our own lives well

3. [+45, -3]

She hasn't caused any financial harm while fangirling, so leave me alone. Your unnie isn't struggling financially while fangirling, so what's the problem? Do you think quitting idol fandom and marrying an ordinary person is the standard path? That's your standard. Let your unnie live her own life. Don't try to force her into your mold

4. [+37, -2]

If fangirling is enjoyable to her, then that's perfectly fine... Since it doesn't harm others, if talking about idols makes conversation awkward, don't force yourself to change her, just keep some distance~ Let's not stress each other out

5. [+32, -18]

I'm born in '85 and I'm a fan of Bangtan. I'm not harming anyone and it's my hobby so please don't mind us

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