[marriage & in-laws] MY BOYFRIEND SAID THAT HE HAS NO CONFIDENCE IN GETTING MARRIED...

(pic not included)

I've been with my boyfriend for five years, and we naturally decided to get married. We’ve already met each other’s parents.

I'm 34 this year, and he's 38.

It's not exactly young, but if anything, it feels a bit late. There was a period when we broke up in between, and since my boyfriend has been extremely busy with work, our wedding kept getting delayed.

But during the holidays, he said he had something to talk about. We met up, watched a movie, had a drink, and had a good time, until he suddenly told me that he's not confident about getting married.

He's brought up something similar before. He told me that his father was immature for a long time, which caused his mother to struggle and led to their family being very poor. He remembers those times vividly and believes that a father and husband's role is incredibly important. He said he's not sure if he's capable of fulfilling that role..

I reminded him that his father eventually matured, worked hard, and provided well for the family, and that things turned out okay in the end. He agreed but said his father still has childish traits, and he wonders if he might have inherited some of them too.

At the time, I didn't think too much of it. But now, out of nowhere, he's saying he's scared of marriage, that it feels like a heavy burden. Hearing this suddenly made me so frustrated.

I asked him what he wanted to do, and his answer was that he's just not confident about marriage.

After five years together, he suddenly says he's not sure? My mind went blank. I completely lost it. I cried like crazy, sobbing uncontrollably. He cried too.

I asked him if he wanted to break up, and he said he didn't know. But it's clear that he doesn't want to get married. He even admitted that if his parents found out, they'd probably hit him to death.

I cried so much that I couldn't even say anything else. In the end, we didn't reach a conclusion, and I just went home and Katalked him saying we should think about it more.

He didn't reply.. When I called, he just said, "Yeah, let's do that," and hasn't contacted me since.

What should I do? Breaking up feels like such a waste after five years.. If he had just said, "I don't love you anymore, let's break up," I could at least curse him and move on. But after meeting each other's parents, to now say he's not confident? This is just too much.

I can’t focus on anything. Seriously, I feel like I'm dying..

post response:

[+381][-47]

original post: here

1. [+495, -8]

This type of person breaks up with their long-term girlfriend, and all he has to do is get introduced to a new girl, and suddenly he will have this burst of confidence that he never had before.

2. [+439, -1]

Think about your sunk cost, your life is your sunk cost. You need to cut him off ASAP

3. [+363, -3]

He's literally saying he doesn't want to marry you. You need to let him go. no matter what, things will get better once you do. Even if you want to make him come to his senses, leave him. Go find someone else. Whatever the outcome, the best thing you can do right now is cut him off

4. [+282, -8]

5 years isn't what matters here. It's all about how many years you're going to be able to marry someone who's single. Do you want to be single for five years, or six years, or seven years, or 40 years old and break up?

5. [+266, -2]

He has no confidence so what's there to cry and make a fuss about? If you don't think it's gonna work out, just break up

New post

✉ PC Stories